Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
