please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
