I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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