Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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