brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
