Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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