No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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