im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
