A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
