Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
