Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
