U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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