A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
