I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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