Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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