We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
