another moral hangover. fuck.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
