im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
