Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
