It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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