she was so not down for the gang bang
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
