Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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