I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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