My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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