what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
