Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
