You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
