the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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