What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
