i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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