What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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