I must be too annoying 4 u.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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