I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
