I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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