Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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