i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
