My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
