so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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