At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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