i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
