I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
