Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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