I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
