its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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