No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's always time for handjobs
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
