Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
