Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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