There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
