I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
