tonight lets celebrate not being married
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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