Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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