I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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