so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
