all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
