so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
