ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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