you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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