he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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