Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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