I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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